BOOKS HUMOUR

Bathtub anxieties

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy.
- "Can I touch it?"
- "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

What NOT to say to a police officer

-- I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

-- Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize I was driving.

-- Wow, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me!

-- I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

-- You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

-- You look just like my girlfriend's deadbeat ex-husband.

-- The question is -- do YOU know why you pulled me over?

-- I was trying to keep up with traffic, and it's miles ahead of me.

-- If you have to ask if I've been drinking, I'm not going to tell you, dude.

-- That's a sweet 9mm. You want to hold my .44 magnum?

-- If I'd known I was getting a full body cavity search, I would have waxed!

EASTER HW for KET candidates

Dear candidates,
you must download and print out ONLY THE LAST TWO PAGES - the answers sheets - of the attached file in order to do the activities you will find in it. Click HERE to access the file. Remember to ask your teacher for the password you need to open the file. Don't forget to bring the activities done on Monday 15 April.

EASTER HW for PET candidates

Dear candidates,
you must download and print out the attached file in order to do the activities you will find in it. Click HERE to access the file. Remember to ask your teacher for the password you need to open the file. Don't forget to bring the activities done on Monday 15 April.

CAN ANYONE HELP ME WITH THE PRONUNCIATION?

Ration only sometimes rhymes with nation,
Say prefer, but preferable,
Comfortable and vegetable.
B must not be heard in doubt,
Debt and dumb both leave it out.
In the words psychology,
Psychic, and psychiatry,
You must never sound the p.
Psychiatrist you call the man
Who cures the complex, if he can.
In architect chi is k
In arch it is the other way.
Please remember to say iron
So that it'll rhyme with lion.
Advertisers advertise,
Advertisements will put you wise.
Time when work is done is leisure,
Fill it up with useful pleasure.
Accidental, accident,
Sound the g in ignorant.
Relative, but relation,
Then say creature, but creation.
Say the a in gas quite short,
Bought remember rhymes with thwart,
Drought must always rhyme with bout,
In daughter leave the gh out.
Wear a boot upon your foot.
Root can never rhyme with soot.
In muscle, sc is s,
In muscular, it's sk, yes!
Choir must always rhyme with wire,
That again will rhyme with liar.
Then remember it's address.
With an accent like posses.
G in sign must silent be,
In signature, pronounce the g.
Please remember, say towards
Just as if it rhymed with boards.
Weight's like wait, but not like height.
Which should always rhyme with might.

INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT ENGLISH

We pronounce the combination "ough" in 9 different ways, as in the following sentence which contains them all: "A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed."

Don't you believe us? Click HERE to see it and a lot more!!!!

GRAMMAR GREMLINS

It's never too late to brush up your English and keep it up. We dare you try and get rid of the gremlins in your grammar!!!!

WEBS TO PRACTICE

Dear students,
as we told you in class, we uploaded some interesting links so you can practice for your English tests next week.
Click HERE for a nice web page. (Click on the label: cambridge).
Here you have ANOTHER one (Label: EFL exam practice).
And finally the THIRD (Label: student's area).

Enjoy these web pages and GOOD LUCK to everybody with your exams!!!!!

Verb Tenses Guide

Here you  have a Verbal Tense guide to help you in case you need to revise them.

CLICK HERE 

KET for schools Information for candidates

here you can find some useful information if you want to take this exam

CLICK HERE

Do not forget to ask your teachers the passaword to download this file

PET for schools information for candidates

Here you can find useful information if you want to take this exam.

CLICK HERE

Do not forget to ask your teachers the password to download this file.

FIRST for schools. Information for candidates

Here you can find some useful information if you want to take this exam
CLICK HERE

Do not forget to ask your teachers for the password to download this file

Useful Phrasal Verbs

Phrasal verbs, multiword verbs, verbs with prepositions... one of the the worst nightmares for ESOL candidates. Whatever you like calling them, here is a list of them for you to learn. Click HERE to download the PDF file. And HERE for another extra file. GOOD LUCK and enjoy them!

SPEAKING TEST PRACTICE - PET

This is a very useful link to practice the speaking part for those who want to take the PET test.
CLICK HERE

FIND OUT MORE ABOUT YOUR EXAMS

In this link you can find a lot of information about KET, PET and FCE, including a video of the speaking part, practice online tests, advice for preparing..... and more links related to the tests.

  hope you find it useful!!!

Click here for more info